Everything you might reasonably wonder, and a few things you definitely won’t, answered with only the mildest amount of exasperation.
Wherever your heart and credit card resides, we shall ship.
Sadly shipping costs are calculated by a devious cartel of mercenary accountants with their little spreadsheets and cold hearts who make predicting these fees impossible. But take heart, all will be revealed in the checkout flow.
Approximately 3–10 days, but you will receive specific timing estimates during checkout. These artisanal coloring books are printed on demand by a team of experts just for you (unlike some designers we could mention. bof!).
Yes, we believe in you! Also there will be tracking links sent once your book ships.
Sadly, no. The metaphysical fly wheel that is our global interconnected economy is insensitive to the wishes and suffering of mere mortals like ourselves. Rather than allowing your irrelevance in cosmic terms to drive you to nihilism or madness, we recommend using your freewill to choose to create meaning, value and love on your own terms and rage against the dying of the light.
Major credit cards, debit cards and Anthropic stock.
Also, no. Once the wheels of commerce are in motion not even the devil himself can stop them.
Ideally have a wealthier friend with excellent taste pay for you (hope that helps).
Oh goodness, no. We aren’t a cult, sweetheart (who even has time for the meetings?!?).
We are but simple folk and do not have the capacity for accepting returns, so all purchases are final. However, if the reason for the request is a printing failure of some kind, email us at help@momsofwestlake.com with a poem in rhyming couplets of no more than 250 words describing the issue and a picture to clarify the issue and we will do our best to make amends (also please, no nudes for the love of God).
Yes. Whether it’s coloring books or Costco olive oil, buying in bulk is one of our favorite pastimes. Email us at info@momsofwestlake.com with your requested quantity and we can provide you a quotation.
You should color it. Once that is complete, you should purchase another copy and begin again.
This is a difficult philosophical question as it exists relative to a variable and unpredictable standard of propriety based on the reader and the cultural moment in time when it was proposed. Indeed the website F.A.Q. section is no place for such a serious existential discussion. So we will simply say all the naughty words have been censored, and even if they were not they should still be familiar to readers who have attended middle school previously or lived in the world.
Given the complex nature of child development (and that only the foolish would seek this kind of help from a coloring book F.A.Q) it is exceedingly difficult to provide guidance to parents on the topic of the appropriateness of any book. In the interest of at least offering directional support we have provided this helpful chart giving our recommendations based on terms third parties have used to describe your child.
| Descriptive Term For Your Child | Is your child ready for the book? |
|---|---|
| Precocious | Yes, but in the way your lit Weber grill is ready for a full can of gasoline. |
| Old soul | This just means creepy. Enroll them in talk therapy now. |
| Wise beyond their years | Watch Haley Joel Osment in The Sixth Sense and tell use what you think. |
| Mini-me | Very much dependent on full-size-me. |
| Ms/Mr Know-It-All | No. They are exhausting enough as it is. |
| Smarty-pants | Likely. |
| Smart aleck | Obviously, yes. |
| Little pedant | Hard Yes. This is our core demographic. |
| Bossypants | This just mean a girl with opinions. In boys this is called “leadership potential”. Conditional approval. |
| Teacher’s pet | Nope. |
| The youngest person at the bar | This is just child neglect. |
| Fourteen-going-on-fourty | We view Freaky Friday as a cautionary tale. |
| Little p**** | Welcome, young lion. We have been observing your work with great interest. At last, you dwell amongst your people. Everything the coloring book touches shall be yours. |
Yes, but we don’t talk about it anymore.
Blue and black. 100%.
They lived happily ever after.
“Vacation” by The Go-Go’s.